Dad is lagging behind?

Don’t know why Dad is always lagging behind.

No dear friends your personality & rituals are given by both. At my 60 years ,personally never compared among parents.

Both are god given gift. We should try to handle them with care. You have to give them full respect like they have given us in our childhood and whole life.

But after marriage there is shift from children’s family to parents.

  1. Mom carries for 9 months, Dad carries for 25 years, both are equal, still don’t know why Dad is lagging behind.
  2. Mother works without pay for the family, Dad spends all his pay for the family, both their efforts are equal, still don’t know why Dad is lagging behind.
  3. Mom cooks whatever you want, Dad buys whatever you want, both their love is equal, but Mom’s love is shown as superior. Don’t know why Dad is lagging behind.
  4. When you talk over the phone, you want to talk to Mom first, if you get hurt, you cry ‘Mom’. You will only remember dad when you need him, but did Dad never feel bad that you don’t remember him the other times? When it comes to receiving love from children, for generations, don’t know why Dad is lagging behind.
  5. Cupboards will be filled with colorful sarees and many clothes for kids but Dad’s clothes are very few, he doesn’t care about his own needs, still don’t know why Dad is lagging behind.
  6. Mom has many gold ornaments, but Dad has only one ring that was given during his wedding. Still Mom may complain of less jewellery and Dad doesn’t. Still don’t know why is Dad lagging behind.
  7. Dad works very hard all his life to take care of the family, but when it comes to getting recognition, don’t know why he is always lagging behind.
  8. When parents become old, children say, Mom is at least useful in taking care of household chores, but they say, Dad is useless.

Dad is behind (or ‘at the back’ ) because he is the backbone of the family. Because of him, we are able to stand erect. Probably, this is the reason why he is lagging behind….!!!
Dedicated to all the DADS 💕🙏🏻

Although the times are changing and both parents share responsibilities, I don’t think society’s outlook has changed much. The society still largely divides tasks and roles to be gender-specific.

If a kid gets hurt, does not eat, is not gaining weight, is sick, or throwing tantrums… always the mother is blamed. No matter at that particular time whether the kid was in the mother’s custody or the father’s.

By default, kids are expected to be the mother’s responsibility. So yes, when it comes to appreciation too, mother’s get the upper hand.

While it’s true that both the father and mother are loaded with responsibilities and both of them go through major life changes after having a baby. But you can’t deny the fact that the majority of the time, its the mother’s life which takes the biggest hit.

Why we always appreciate only Mothers sacrifice in bringing up Children? Why not fathers sacrifices?

Contrary to expectations, maybe because of my experience ,I hold my father in high regard when compared to my mother in raising me. Let me elaborate— both my parents were working for a government organisation and my grandmother was my primary caregiver.

But, my dad despite his packed schedule used to come home everyday evening and spend time with me,just taking me around,buying stuff etc. He was so concerned about my mother that the responsibility of cleaning and cutting vegetables after buying was his forte.

My mother was interested in self development and she used to go to music classes after work and sometimes if she were tired, my dad used to cook too.

Coming to weekends, my dad used to insist on applying oil to the body and long tresses and soak in the sun before a huge abhyanjana. He used to heat up water in those ancient copper vessels using wood( as advised by his parents ) and ensured that my body and hairs were thick and healthy.

Coming to my dress, my dad used to personally select the most stylish materials and stitch dresses,design our gold etc. He had a knack for intricate details and his fashion sense made me the star at home and school.

As my dad believed that a mother had to be very educated in order to bring up children better, he encouraged my mother to do her engineering while he took care of me.

My dad used to go to work early morning at 5 am and return home by 5 pm. He used to be so considerate that he used to make his own coffee and tea and leave behind some for my mom when she woke up.

Even though my dad is no more with me, his actions,his behaviour and his values have left me with more deeper respect than what I feel for my mother. To this day, whenever I am happy or troubled, the first picture that comes to my mind is my father.

Whenever I do some work,I always hope I could have already an iota of talent like him. So, my dad and his work( he never called it sacrifice because he loved whatever he did and was passionate about it).will be cherished forever and if in any lifetime I would be worthy of being born his child again,I would hope it would be a lifetime where I would make him proud

“Why do I need Dad? He is anyways never there even on holidays. Let him be in that city, we will stay here. Mom anyways does everything!”

This is a statement made by one of my neighbour’s 7 year old daughter Diya last week.

Can you imagine what is going inside her small brain and how is it going to impact her when she grows up?

Family’s background:

Diya’s parents both are a working in MNCs. Diya’s mother Neelam is physically a very strong lady- she is from a village in UP and struggled hard in life. Unlike city based folks, she had faced so many challenges that she doesn’t feel any physical stress even after working for 16 hrs! She totally loves her husband Amit who is in a Sales job. Amit had recently got posted in Gurgaon and was trying hard to come back to Pune. Diya has a baby sister called Nita.

Day to day activities:

Neelam gets up early morning, prepares breakfast for whole family, packs lunch boxes, drops one kid in daycare and other in school, then goes to her office.

After returning, she cooks, makes Diya do her homework. Even if Amit is around, she does everything for her kids as well as Amit! Sometimes Amit takes the kids out for chocolates etc but since his job is more hectic and demands lot of traveling, he doesn’t give enough time to his kids.

Amit earns more than Neelam – because Neelam had to take maternity leave twice and missed 2 appraisal cycles. The couple have no problem with each other, they love each other, respect too and save money so that they can build a future for both the kids.

Problem with kid:

Diya sees her mom overworking all the time. Her small brain is yet to understand how much impact money makes. Her Dad also overworks but outside home- not in front of her. He makes money but as per Diya even Neelam earns!

What do you expect a growing kid to understand in this situation? When Amit got a hike and moved to Gurgaon, Neelam managed her house without him for 6 months. Diya was happy with her friends and school, she never had Amit giving her time so didn’t miss him at all! Hence the first statement had all of us stunning: her mother and we friends at a party.

To the Fathers who think that only money is important: gone are those days. If you don’t actively get involved in your children’s life, Diya’s statement is going to hit you from your kid’s mouth very soon. Earlier days mothers used to leave their career, passion everything for their kids, today’s mothers can manage both worlds! You however have still not changed. Work is important, money too is, however sometimes your child needs you in their lives rather than the costly gifts.


Diya thinks that a woman has to do everything and men just earn. She is determined to be a mom only when she grows up and stay only with her mom! Unless Amit shows her that men are equally important in life- she might be a hard core feminist for sure! What else do you expect from a child?

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Mother’s sacrifice is only appreciated only to make her sacrifice more. Keeping someone on pedstall doesn’t help them.

Even after making all sacrifices like career , time , health , hobbies , financial independence , emotional needs etc still child are know with father’s name , all the major decision are taken by father and the authority figure is father.

Father’s sacrifice may not be sang in society but all powers related to kids goes with him. How many times we have seen that Papa or daddy is like Supreme Court of our matters or Papa s Puch lo. Many times child bypass their mother and get approval from father for doing any thing.

Father’s sacrifice is awarded with power and authority , mother’s sacrifice is only lip service.

And one more thing , sacrifice of son’s mother is appreciated more than sacrifices of daughters mother. Sacrifice of my mother matters but sacrifice of my kids mother is just a regular thing. So even all mother’s are not treated equally

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